17:24:51: Package picked up by Calto Fremis
17:24:53: @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson).  Luckily, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) vaulted over it, only severing one foot.  @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
18:06:32: @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson).  Luckily, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) vaulted over it, only severing one foot.  @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
19:11:22: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal.  Not business.  @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) got one over on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) once before.  So definitely, for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco), that advice hits close to the chest.  No guns.  Not this time.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stakes out the area.  Hides in the shadows.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) see's @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) running hurriedly down the street.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling.  Certainly safer.  No.  It's time for revenge.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip.  @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) did not see before.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road.  Don't worry.  The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
20:02:46: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) after a failed package theft attempt.  @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) resumes on their way.
21:03:49: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stumbles into their own trap:  a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s destruction.  Instead @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
21:33:11: Package delivered by Calto Fremis for $100,000