07:10:05: Package picked up by Iggy Starlord
07:10:06: Iggy Starlord was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Ignoracious Buttafucco. Luckily, Iggy Starlord vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Iggy Starlord resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
08:00:18: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Mac Nielson hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that Mac Nielson has used it, targeting Iggy Starlord's ship as it races across the horizon. However, Iggy Starlord's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. Mac Nielson's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. Iggy Starlord dips their ship, skirting past Mac Nielson and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
09:00:20: Someone once told Mac Nielson the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Iggy Starlord got one over on Mac Nielson once before. So definitely, for Mac Nielson, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Mac Nielson stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Mac Nielson see's Iggy Starlord running hurriedly down the street. Mac Nielson takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Mac Nielson ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Iggy Starlord doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Mac Nielson did not see before. Mac Nielson takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Iggy Starlord escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
09:16:25: Iggy Starlord has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. Iggy Starlord is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Sonny Bill Spider" scrawled on it in pink paint. Sonny Bill Spider picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Iggy Starlord. Fuck eaten. Good job, Sonny Bill Spider. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
10:01:45: Someone once told Blaylock Samson that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Blaylock Samson knows Sonny Bill Spider has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Blaylock Samson but the time is almost here. Sonny Bill Spider's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Blaylock Samson's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Blaylock Samson is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Blaylock Samson the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Sonny Bill Spider's ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
11:00:28: Ignoracious Buttafucco tried to sneak on board Sonny Bill Spider's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Sonny Bill Spider continues their delivery.
12:00:20: Blaylock Samson steadily took aim from a second story window as Sonny Bill Spider ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Blaylock Samson inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Sonny Bill Spider resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
13:00:26: Someone once told Mac Nielson that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Mac Nielson knows Sonny Bill Spider has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Mac Nielson but the time is almost here. Sonny Bill Spider's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Mac Nielson's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Mac Nielson is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Mac Nielson the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Sonny Bill Spider's ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
13:41:23: The smell of Sonny Bill Spider's completely immolated ship flares up Column McClowed's nostrils as a tow cable yanks the package from the flaming wreck. "Parcel transferred" emit's from Column McClowed's bracelet, signaling more credits to be made. Column McClowed continues towards the delivery point, package in tow.
14:00:29: Mac Nielson misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Column McClowed. Column McClowed resumes delivery of their package.
14:20:21: Column McClowed was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Iggy Starlord. Luckily, Column McClowed vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Column McClowed resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
14:20:33: Iggy Starlord successfully spears Column McClowed to a wall through their chest. Column McClowed has time to yell, "You bastard," as Iggy Starlord snags the package from the ground in front of them. "Parcel transferred."
15:00:28: Ignoracious Buttafucco tried to sneak on board Iggy Starlord's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Iggy Starlord continues their delivery.
15:10:27: Package delivered by Iggy Starlord for $260,000