05:48:04: Package picked up by Daggwood Bronson
05:48:05: Mac Nielson tried to sneak on board Daggwood Bronson's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Daggwood Bronson continues their delivery.
06:00:21: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. Ignoracious Buttafucco has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. Daggwood Bronson ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. Daggwood Bronson almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in Ignoracious Buttafucco's trap. Frantic, Daggwood Bronson activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, Daggwood Bronson hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As Ignoracious Buttafucco manically runs after Daggwood Bronson firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of Daggwood Bronson's grenades, losing a leg. Daggwood Bronson continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
09:48:28: Daggwood Bronson is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Daggwood Bronson smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Daggwood Bronson lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Daggwood Bronson's adrenaline. Ignoracious Buttafucco fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Daggwood Bronson. "Not today, my friend." Daggwood Bronson twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Ignoracious Buttafucco four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
11:20:04: Someone once told Blaylock Samson the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Daggwood Bronson got one over on Blaylock Samson once before. So definitely, for Blaylock Samson, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Blaylock Samson stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Blaylock Samson see's Daggwood Bronson running hurriedly down the street. Blaylock Samson takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Blaylock Samson ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Daggwood Bronson doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Blaylock Samson did not see before. Blaylock Samson takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Daggwood Bronson escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
14:45:02: Package delivered by Daggwood Bronson for $80,000