01:13:17: Package picked up by Sable Nyx
01:13:18: Ignoracious Buttafucco steadily took aim from a second story window as Sable Nyx ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Ignoracious Buttafucco inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Sable Nyx resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
04:04:24: Sable Nyx is riddled with repetitive machine gun fire from SEAN Edmonds, falling to their knees and letting the package slip from their fingers. "Parcel transferred." SEAN Edmonds resumes delivery with the package.
04:50:51: Someone once told Harrison Ware the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Buckaroo Banzai got one over on Harrison Ware once before. So definitely, for Harrison Ware, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Harrison Ware stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Harrison Ware see's Buckaroo Banzai running hurriedly down the street. Harrison Ware takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Harrison Ware ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Buckaroo Banzai doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Harrison Ware did not see before. Harrison Ware takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Buckaroo Banzai escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
04:51:35: Someone once told Harrison Ware the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Buckaroo Banzai got one over on Harrison Ware once before. So definitely, for Harrison Ware, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Harrison Ware stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Harrison Ware see's Buckaroo Banzai running hurriedly down the street. Harrison Ware takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Harrison Ware ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Buckaroo Banzai doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Harrison Ware did not see before. Harrison Ware takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Buckaroo Banzai escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
04:52:47: Buckaroo Banzai is bloody from head to toe after a rough number of successful entanglements. "Geronimo, fuckstick!" They look up at the voice and see a a dot in the sky. It quickly turns into two dots: a sky born Harrison Ware on a rocket powered hang-glider, and the portable thermonuclear device they've dropped. "Parcel transferred," can be heard from dispatch as Harrison Ware swoops past the mangled corpse and snags the package.
04:54:20: Someone once told Daggwood Bronson that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Daggwood Bronson knows Harrison Ware has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Daggwood Bronson but the time is almost here. Harrison Ware's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Daggwood Bronson's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Daggwood Bronson is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Daggwood Bronson the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Harrison Ware's thief rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
04:54:35: Daggwood Bronson tried to sneak on board Harrison Ware's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Harrison Ware continues their delivery.
04:54:42: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Daggwood Bronson. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Daggwood Bronson mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Daggwood Bronson took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Daggwood Bronson put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Daggwood Bronson crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Harrison Ware to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Harrison Ware came into view. Daggwood Bronson pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Daggwood Bronson had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Daggwood Bronson barely heard Harrison Ware running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Harrison Ware continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
05:00:19: Harrison Ware is bloody from head to toe after a rough number of successful entanglements. "Geronimo, fuckstick!" They look up at the voice and see a a dot in the sky. It quickly turns into two dots: a sky born Buckaroo Banzai on a rocket powered hang-glider, and the portable thermonuclear device they've dropped. "Parcel transferred," can be heard from dispatch as Buckaroo Banzai swoops past the mangled corpse and snags the package.
05:04:37: Buckaroo Banzai was feeling THAT feeling. The feeling of the win just over the horizon. A smile crept across Buckaroo Banzai's face, thinking of exactly what they would use these credits to purchase, when Sable Nyx launched an electrified bola at their feet. Buckaroo Banzai can't quite internalize that the most painful step is also the most confident, as a dart is lodged into their neck before Buckaroo Banzai's head even hits the ground, bringing on many hours of sleep. Sable Nyx smiles as their delivery bracelet emits the familiar "Parcel transferred" message.
05:05:13: Sable Nyx leaps off of a second story building on to a tall dumpster, shortening the fall. Unfortunately this dumpster is full of explosives placed by Jax TellHER. Jax TellHER smiles as they plunge their thumb onto the detonator switch, their face ignited by a pillar of flames as Sable Nyx is incinerated. Jax TellHER throws the detonator over their shoulder as they pick up the package that rolls to their feet as if it was meant for them. Jax TellHER breaks into a fast run, taking the stolen package with them. "Parcel transferred," emits from their delivery bracelet signifying even more credits to be earned. "Parcel transferred, indeed," Jax TellHER whispers in reply.
05:06:06: Jax TellHER is bloody from head to toe after a rough number of successful entanglements. "Geronimo, fuckstick!" They look up at the voice and see a a dot in the sky. It quickly turns into two dots: a sky born Harrison Ware on a rocket powered hang-glider, and the portable thermonuclear device they've dropped. "Parcel transferred," can be heard from dispatch as Harrison Ware swoops past the mangled corpse and snags the package.
05:07:22: Harrison Ware is riddled with repetitive machine gun fire from Jax TellHER, falling to their knees and letting the package slip from their fingers. "Parcel transferred." Jax TellHER resumes delivery with the package.
06:07:47: Someone once told Harrison Ware that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Harrison Ware knows Jax TellHER has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Harrison Ware but the time is almost here. Jax TellHER's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Harrison Ware's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Harrison Ware is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Harrison Ware the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Jax TellHER's thief rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
06:08:31: Harrison Ware tried to sneak on board Jax TellHER's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Jax TellHER continues their delivery.
06:14:34: Jax TellHER is riddled with repetitive machine gun fire from Harrison Ware, falling to their knees and letting the package slip from their fingers. "Parcel transferred." Harrison Ware resumes delivery with the package.
09:53:34: Package delivered by Harrison Ware for $320,000