05:52:27: Package picked up by Jeff Colen
05:52:29: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen). @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) resumes delivery of their package.
06:00:30: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
07:00:25: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
08:00:30: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) knows @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
09:00:30: @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
10:01:14: @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). Luckily, @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
10:04:30: @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter). Luckily, @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
10:04:33: @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) successfully spears @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) to a wall through their chest. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) has time to yell, "You bastard," as @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) snags the package from the ground in front of them. "Parcel transferred."
11:00:31: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) resumes on their way.
12:00:21: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter). @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) resumes delivery of their package.
13:00:31: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) came into view. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) barely heard @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
13:52:29: Package delivered by Toe Cutter for $220,000