11:30:46: Package picked up by Jack Corbeau
11:30:48: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
12:00:55: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) knows @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
13:00:09: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau). @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes delivery of their package.
14:01:07: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) manically runs after @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
15:01:06: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) came into view. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) barely heard @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
16:01:01: @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
17:00:58: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) got one over on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) see's @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) did not see before. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
18:00:11: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes on their way.
19:00:08: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) manically runs after @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
19:31:43: Package delivered by Jack Corbeau for $180,000