00:15:41: Package picked up by Leroy Palestine
00:15:42: There are automatic rifles and there are these.  The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) hefts it on their shoulder.  The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling.  It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship as it races across the horizon.  However, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
01:15:58: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) continues their delivery.
02:01:07: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads.  Dangerous territory.  A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) smiles.  Winners aren't born; they're built.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below.  One failed attempt.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s adrenaline.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine).  "Not today, my friend."  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
03:01:47: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) after a failed package theft attempt.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes on their way.
04:01:35: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business.  Not personal.  Do not concern yourself with revenge.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) knows @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory.  The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) but the time is almost here.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship comes over the horizon.  There it is. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on.  A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error.  This mistake would sting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
05:19:01: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson).  A wonderful breakfast.  "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover.  @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing?  I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery."  @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal.  "Ah, that's the one.  I'm here already."  @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod.  @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) to come running down the road, package in tow.  "I know this one.  Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum.  They won't be able to handle this either."  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) came into view.  @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism.  Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) had just left.  "What?  How?"  As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) barely heard @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!"  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
06:22:26: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads.  Dangerous territory.  A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) smiles.  Winners aren't born; they're built.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below.  One failed attempt.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s adrenaline.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine).  "Not today, my friend."  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
08:09:50: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson).  Luckily, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) vaulted over it, only severing one foot.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
08:38:15: Package delivered by Leroy Palestine for $160,000