18:56:04: Package picked up by "OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail
18:56:05: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) resumes on their way.
19:05:10: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) got one over on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) see's @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) did not see before. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
20:02:20: @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
21:02:41: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). This is arguably why @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
22:04:34: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
23:01:20: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) continues their delivery.
02:57:39: Package delivered by "OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail for $120,000