11:06:52: Package picked up by Sable Nyx
11:06:53: Sable Nyx was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Ignoracious Buttafucco. Luckily, Sable Nyx vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Sable Nyx resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
14:44:44: Someone once told Jax TellHER the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Sable Nyx got one over on Jax TellHER once before. So definitely, for Jax TellHER, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Jax TellHER stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Jax TellHER see's Sable Nyx running hurriedly down the street. Jax TellHER takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Jax TellHER ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Sable Nyx doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Jax TellHER did not see before. Jax TellHER takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Sable Nyx escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
17:10:10: The smell of Sable Nyx's completely immolated ship flares up Leroy Palestine's nostrils as a tow cable yanks the package from the flaming wreck. "Parcel transferred" emit's from Leroy Palestine's bracelet, signaling more credits to be made. Leroy Palestine continues towards the delivery point, package in tow.
17:45:55: Leroy Palestine is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Leroy Palestine smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Leroy Palestine lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Leroy Palestine's adrenaline. Harrison Ware fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Leroy Palestine. "Not today, my friend." Leroy Palestine twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Harrison Ware four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
18:22:19: Someone once told Sable Nyx that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Sable Nyx knows Leroy Palestine has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Sable Nyx but the time is almost here. Leroy Palestine's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Sable Nyx's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Sable Nyx is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Sable Nyx the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Leroy Palestine's thief rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
19:05:11: Leroy Palestine has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. Leroy Palestine is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Harrison Ware" scrawled on it in pink paint. Harrison Ware picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Leroy Palestine. Fuck eaten. Good job, Harrison Ware. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
19:06:01: Leroy Palestine steadily took aim from a second story window as Harrison Ware ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Leroy Palestine inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Harrison Ware resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
19:06:05: Harrison Ware leaps off of a second story building on to a tall dumpster, shortening the fall. Unfortunately this dumpster is full of explosives placed by Leroy Palestine. Leroy Palestine smiles as they plunge their thumb onto the detonator switch, their face ignited by a pillar of flames as Harrison Ware is incinerated. Leroy Palestine throws the detonator over their shoulder as they pick up the package that rolls to their feet as if it was meant for them. Leroy Palestine breaks into a fast run, taking the stolen package with them. "Parcel transferred," emits from their delivery bracelet signifying even more credits to be earned. "Parcel transferred, indeed," Leroy Palestine whispers in reply.
19:06:11: Leroy Palestine was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Harrison Ware. Luckily, Leroy Palestine vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Leroy Palestine resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
19:06:18: Harrison Ware tried to sneak on board Leroy Palestine's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Leroy Palestine continues their delivery.
19:06:23: Leroy Palestine was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Harrison Ware. Luckily, Leroy Palestine vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Leroy Palestine resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
19:06:28: Harrison Ware steadily took aim from a second story window as Leroy Palestine ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Harrison Ware inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Leroy Palestine resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
19:06:34: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Harrison Ware. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Harrison Ware mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Harrison Ware took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Harrison Ware put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Harrison Ware crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Leroy Palestine to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Leroy Palestine came into view. Harrison Ware pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Harrison Ware had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Harrison Ware barely heard Leroy Palestine running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Leroy Palestine continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
19:06:38: Leroy Palestine was feeling THAT feeling. The feeling of the win just over the horizon. A smile crept across Leroy Palestine's face, thinking of exactly what they would use these credits to purchase, when Harrison Ware launched an electrified bola at their feet. Leroy Palestine can't quite internalize that the most painful step is also the most confident, as a dart is lodged into their neck before Leroy Palestine's head even hits the ground, bringing on many hours of sleep. Harrison Ware smiles as their delivery bracelet emits the familiar "Parcel transferred" message.
19:06:47: Harrison Ware was feeling THAT feeling. The feeling of the win just over the horizon. A smile crept across Harrison Ware's face, thinking of exactly what they would use these credits to purchase, when Leroy Palestine launched an electrified bola at their feet. Harrison Ware can't quite internalize that the most painful step is also the most confident, as a dart is lodged into their neck before Harrison Ware's head even hits the ground, bringing on many hours of sleep. Leroy Palestine smiles as their delivery bracelet emits the familiar "Parcel transferred" message.
19:06:50: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Harrison Ware. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Harrison Ware mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Harrison Ware took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Harrison Ware put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Harrison Ware crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Leroy Palestine to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Leroy Palestine came into view. Harrison Ware pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Harrison Ware had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Harrison Ware barely heard Leroy Palestine running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Leroy Palestine continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
19:06:52: Package delivered by Leroy Palestine for $320,000