23:15:15: Package picked up by Sonny Bill Spider
23:15:16: Someone once told Blaylock Samson the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Sonny Bill Spider got one over on Blaylock Samson once before. So definitely, for Blaylock Samson, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Blaylock Samson stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Blaylock Samson see's Sonny Bill Spider running hurriedly down the street. Blaylock Samson takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Blaylock Samson ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Sonny Bill Spider doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Blaylock Samson did not see before. Blaylock Samson takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Sonny Bill Spider escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
06:07:23: Sonny Bill Spider takes two shotgun blasts directly to the spine from Iggy Starlord, who continues on their way with the package. "Parcel transferred." Sonny Bill Spider will be paying a deductible to get this fixed.
06:08:43: Sonny Bill Spider does not normally mourn death. Sonny Bill Spider is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of Sonny Bill Spider thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as Iggy Starlord emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. Iggy Starlord dove, taking a shot mid-air. Iggy Starlord was not thinking about human connection, unlike Sonny Bill Spider. This is arguably why Sonny Bill Spider was shot in the gut. Iggy Starlord resumes their delivery, package in tow.
06:08:46: Sonny Bill Spider's ship rams head-first into Iggy Starlord's ship, utilizing a superheated prow to disintegrate Iggy Starlord's cockpit. The package is snagged by Sonny Bill Spider after a daring space walk. "Parcel transferred."
06:39:12: Iggy Starlord shot a missile at Sonny Bill Spider and obliterated their ship. All that was left was the package which was picked up and continued its journey with Iggy Starlord.
06:42:37: Iggy Starlord was feeling THAT feeling. The feeling of the win just over the horizon. A smile crept across Iggy Starlord's face, thinking of exactly what they would use these credits to purchase, when Sonny Bill Spider launched an electrified bola at their feet. Iggy Starlord can't quite internalize that the most painful step is also the most confident, as a dart is lodged into their neck before Iggy Starlord's head even hits the ground, bringing on many hours of sleep. Sonny Bill Spider smiles as their delivery bracelet emits the familiar "Parcel transferred" message.
07:12:21: Iggy Starlord does not normally mourn death. Iggy Starlord is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of Iggy Starlord thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as Sonny Bill Spider emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. Sonny Bill Spider dove, taking a shot mid-air. Sonny Bill Spider was not thinking about human connection, unlike Iggy Starlord. This is arguably why Iggy Starlord was shot in the gut. Sonny Bill Spider resumes their delivery, package in tow.
07:12:33: Someone once told Iggy Starlord that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Iggy Starlord knows Sonny Bill Spider has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Iggy Starlord but the time is almost here. Sonny Bill Spider's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Iggy Starlord's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Iggy Starlord is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Iggy Starlord the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Sonny Bill Spider's ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
07:13:55: The wonderful thing about lasers, although expensive, is their ability to slice entirely through a surface and sever. Sonny Bill Spider rounds a corner and only has a split second to see a blinding red light, before being decapitated by a slicingly accurate laser blast from Iggy Starlord. The package rolls to their feet. "Parcel transferred." Iggy Starlord resumes delivery of the stolen package.
07:14:08: Iggy Starlord has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from Sonny Bill Spider's MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to Sonny Bill Spider, but flung to unknown reaches of the universe. "Parcel transferred."
07:15:16: Package delivered by Sonny Bill Spider for $200,000