14:56:43: Package picked up by Leroy Palestine
14:56:44: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads.  Dangerous territory.  A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) smiles.  Winners aren't born; they're built.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below.  One failed attempt.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s adrenaline.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine).  "Not today, my friend."  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
15:08:28: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) does not normally mourn death.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another.  But that last death.  A split second of @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow.  The shot missed.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) dove, taking a shot mid-air.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco).  This is arguably why @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) was shot in the gut.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
16:02:11: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) does not normally mourn death.  @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another.  But that last death.  A split second of @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow.  The shot missed.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) dove, taking a shot mid-air.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson).  This is arguably why @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) was shot in the gut.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
17:05:06: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stumbles into their own trap:  a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s destruction.  Instead @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
18:18:46: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads.  Dangerous territory.  A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) smiles.  Winners aren't born; they're built.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below.  One failed attempt.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s adrenaline.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine).  "Not today, my friend."  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
19:01:34: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco).  A wonderful breakfast.  "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) mused, "Why ruin a good thing?  I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery."  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal.  "Ah, that's the one.  I'm here already."  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) to come running down the road, package in tow.  "I know this one.  Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum.  They won't be able to handle this either."  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) came into view.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism.  Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) had just left.  "What?  How?"  As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) barely heard @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!"  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
20:08:30: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stumbles into their own trap:  a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s destruction.  Instead @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
21:04:19: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business.  Not personal.  Do not concern yourself with revenge.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) knows @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory.  The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) but the time is almost here.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship comes over the horizon.  There it is. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on.  A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error.  This mistake would sting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
22:05:00: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) misses their double-fisted pistol shots.   A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine).  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery of their package.
23:03:40: Package delivered by Leroy Palestine for $180,000