07:18:52: Package picked up by Sonny Bill Spider
07:18:53: Mac Nielson stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure Sonny Bill Spider's destruction. Instead Sonny Bill Spider resumes on their way, Mac Nielson's agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
08:00:44: Mac Nielson misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Sonny Bill Spider. Sonny Bill Spider resumes delivery of their package.
09:00:18: Someone once told Blaylock Samson the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Sonny Bill Spider got one over on Blaylock Samson once before. So definitely, for Blaylock Samson, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Blaylock Samson stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Blaylock Samson see's Sonny Bill Spider running hurriedly down the street. Blaylock Samson takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Blaylock Samson ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Sonny Bill Spider doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Blaylock Samson did not see before. Blaylock Samson takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Sonny Bill Spider escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
09:02:15: Iggy Starlord tried to sneak on board Sonny Bill Spider's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Sonny Bill Spider continues their delivery.
09:02:29: Sonny Bill Spider leaps off of a second story building on to a tall dumpster, shortening the fall. Unfortunately this dumpster is full of explosives placed by Iggy Starlord. Iggy Starlord smiles as they plunge their thumb onto the detonator switch, their face ignited by a pillar of flames as Sonny Bill Spider is incinerated. Iggy Starlord throws the detonator over their shoulder as they pick up the package that rolls to their feet as if it was meant for them. Iggy Starlord breaks into a fast run, taking the stolen package with them. "Parcel transferred," emits from their delivery bracelet signifying even more credits to be earned. "Parcel transferred, indeed," Iggy Starlord whispers in reply.
09:07:10: Someone once told Sonny Bill Spider the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Iggy Starlord got one over on Sonny Bill Spider once before. So definitely, for Sonny Bill Spider, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Sonny Bill Spider stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Sonny Bill Spider see's Iggy Starlord running hurriedly down the street. Sonny Bill Spider takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Sonny Bill Spider ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Iggy Starlord doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Sonny Bill Spider did not see before. Sonny Bill Spider takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Iggy Starlord escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
09:07:14: Iggy Starlord was feeling THAT feeling. The feeling of the win just over the horizon. A smile crept across Iggy Starlord's face, thinking of exactly what they would use these credits to purchase, when Sonny Bill Spider launched an electrified bola at their feet. Iggy Starlord can't quite internalize that the most painful step is also the most confident, as a dart is lodged into their neck before Iggy Starlord's head even hits the ground, bringing on many hours of sleep. Sonny Bill Spider smiles as their delivery bracelet emits the familiar "Parcel transferred" message.
10:00:25: Mac Nielson steadily took aim from a second story window as Sonny Bill Spider ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Mac Nielson inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Sonny Bill Spider resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
10:50:13: Sonny Bill Spider has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. Sonny Bill Spider is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Iggy Starlord" scrawled on it in pink paint. Iggy Starlord picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Sonny Bill Spider. Fuck eaten. Good job, Iggy Starlord. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
11:51:32: Package delivered by Iggy Starlord for $180,000