01:38:47: Package picked up by Bacon Moo
01:38:48: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson).  Luckily, @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) vaulted over it, only severing one foot.  @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
02:00:35: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) misses their double-fisted pistol shots.   A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo).  @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes delivery of their package.
03:00:45: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal.  Not business.  @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) got one over on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) once before.  So definitely, for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson), that advice hits close to the chest.  No guns.  Not this time.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stakes out the area.  Hides in the shadows.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) see's @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) running hurriedly down the street.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling.  Certainly safer.  No.  It's time for revenge.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip.  @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) did not see before.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road.  Don't worry.  The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
04:00:26: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) after a failed package theft attempt.  @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes on their way.
05:00:22: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads.  Dangerous territory.  A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) smiles.  Winners aren't born; they're built.  @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below.  One failed attempt.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s adrenaline.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo).  "Not today, my friend."  @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
05:39:20: Package delivered by Bacon Moo for $100,000