22:48:31: Package picked up by L.R. Snipestress
22:48:32: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Mac Nielson.  A wonderful breakfast.  "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover.  Mac Nielson mused, "Why ruin a good thing?  I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery."  Mac Nielson took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal.  "Ah, that's the one.  I'm here already."  Mac Nielson put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod.  Mac Nielson crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for L.R. Snipestress to come running down the road, package in tow.  "I know this one.  Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum.  They won't be able to handle this either."  L.R. Snipestress came into view.  Mac Nielson pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism.  Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Mac Nielson had just left.  "What?  How?"  As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Mac Nielson barely heard L.R. Snipestress running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!"  L.R. Snipestress continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
23:02:58: Ignoracious Buttafucco is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by L.R. Snipestress after a failed package theft attempt.  L.R. Snipestress resumes on their way.
03:30:06: Package delivered by L.R. Snipestress for $40,000