16:58:35: Package picked up by Zac The Dreaded Reviewer
16:58:36: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
17:00:43: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) knows @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
18:00:14: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) resumes on their way.
19:00:14: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
20:01:49: @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
21:03:21: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) got one over on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) see's @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) did not see before. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
22:10:54: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) resumes on their way.
23:09:02: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_235(Zac The Dreaded Reviewer) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
00:59:45: Package delivered by Zac The Dreaded Reviewer for $160,000