17:48:29: Package picked up by O.D. Bodkins
17:48:31: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_221(O.D. Bodkins) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_221(O.D. Bodkins) came into view. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) barely heard @peepso_user_221(O.D. Bodkins) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_221(O.D. Bodkins) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
18:01:05: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_221(O.D. Bodkins) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_221(O.D. Bodkins) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
18:48:55: Package delivered by O.D. Bodkins for $40,000