22:44:48: Package picked up by Leroy Palestine
22:44:49: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal.  Not business.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) got one over on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) once before.  So definitely, for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson), that advice hits close to the chest.  No guns.  Not this time.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stakes out the area.  Hides in the shadows.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) see's @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) running hurriedly down the street.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling.  Certainly safer.  No.  It's time for revenge.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) did not see before.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road.  Don't worry.  The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
23:00:46: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads.  Dangerous territory.  A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) smiles.  Winners aren't born; they're built.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below.  One failed attempt.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s adrenaline.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine).  "Not today, my friend."  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
06:13:46: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was feeling THAT feeling.  The feeling of the win just over the horizon.  A smile crept across @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s face, thinking of exactly what they would use these credits to purchase, when @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) launched an electrified bola at their feet.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) can't quite internalize that the most painful step is also the most confident, as a dart is lodged into their neck before @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s head even hits the ground, bringing on many hours of sleep.  @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) smiles as their delivery bracelet emits the familiar "Parcel transferred" message.
06:18:24: @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) ran by below.  Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger.  It was a miss.  @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
06:18:32: @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far.  @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) is feeling good.  DAMN good.  Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen)" scrawled on it in pink paint.  @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour).  Fuck eaten.  Good job, @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen).  "Parcel Transferred."  You have the package.  Now get that sucker to the finish line.
06:45:21: Package delivered by Jeff Colen for $100,000