06:29:48: Package picked up by Daggwood Bronson
06:29:49: There are automatic rifles and there are these.  The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Ignoracious Buttafucco hefts it on their shoulder.  The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling.  It is this reason alone that Ignoracious Buttafucco has used it, targeting Daggwood Bronson's ship as it races across the horizon.  However, Daggwood Bronson's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system.  Ignoracious Buttafucco's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor.  Daggwood Bronson dips their ship, skirting past Ignoracious Buttafucco and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
12:04:24: Daggwood Bronson has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from Feisty Gazebo's MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to Feisty Gazebo, but flung to unknown reaches of the universe.  "Parcel transferred."
13:35:35: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Calto Fremis.  A wonderful breakfast.  "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover.  Calto Fremis mused, "Why ruin a good thing?  I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery."  Calto Fremis took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal.  "Ah, that's the one.  I'm here already."  Calto Fremis put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod.  Calto Fremis crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Feisty Gazebo to come running down the road, package in tow.  "I know this one.  Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum.  They won't be able to handle this either."  Feisty Gazebo came into view.  Calto Fremis pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism.  Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Calto Fremis had just left.  "What?  How?"  As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Calto Fremis barely heard Feisty Gazebo running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!"  Feisty Gazebo continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
13:35:41: Calto Fremis tried to sneak on board Feisty Gazebo's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt.  Feisty Gazebo continues their delivery.
13:35:46: Feisty Gazebo takes two shotgun blasts directly to the spine from Calto Fremis, who continues on their way with the package.  "Parcel transferred."  Feisty Gazebo will be paying a deductible to get this fixed.
14:30:45: Package delivered by Calto Fremis for $100,000