15:19:02: Package picked up by Leroy Palestine
15:19:03: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal.  Not business.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) got one over on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) once before.  So definitely, for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson), that advice hits close to the chest.  No guns.  Not this time.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stakes out the area.  Hides in the shadows.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) see's @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) running hurriedly down the street.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling.  Certainly safer.  No.  It's time for revenge.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) did not see before.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road.  Don't worry.  The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
16:01:40: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) continues their delivery.
17:38:34: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson).  Luckily, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) vaulted over it, only severing one foot.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
18:04:04: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson).  Luckily, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) vaulted over it, only severing one foot.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
19:42:55: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal.  Not business.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) got one over on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) once before.  So definitely, for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson), that advice hits close to the chest.  No guns.  Not this time.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stakes out the area.  Hides in the shadows.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) see's @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) running hurriedly down the street.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling.  Certainly safer.  No.  It's time for revenge.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) did not see before.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road.  Don't worry.  The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
20:01:32: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads.  Dangerous territory.  A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) smiles.  Winners aren't born; they're built.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below.  One failed attempt.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s adrenaline.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine).  "Not today, my friend."  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
21:18:19: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) misses their double-fisted pistol shots.   A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine).  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery of their package.
22:09:36: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads.  Dangerous territory.  A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) smiles.  Winners aren't born; they're built.  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below.  One failed attempt.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s adrenaline.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine).  "Not today, my friend."  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
23:08:23: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson).  A wonderful breakfast.  "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing?  I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery."  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal.  "Ah, that's the one.  I'm here already."  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) to come running down the road, package in tow.  "I know this one.  Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum.  They won't be able to handle this either."  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) came into view.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism.  Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) had just left.  "What?  How?"  As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) barely heard @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!"  @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
23:19:05: Package delivered by Leroy Palestine for $180,000