08:08:01: Package picked up by Corvus Wyatt
08:08:02: Someone once told Mac Nielson that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Mac Nielson knows Corvus Wyatt has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Mac Nielson but the time is almost here. Corvus Wyatt's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Mac Nielson's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Mac Nielson is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Mac Nielson the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Corvus Wyatt's ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
09:13:23: Corvus Wyatt is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Corvus Wyatt smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Corvus Wyatt lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Corvus Wyatt's adrenaline. Blaylock Samson fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Corvus Wyatt. "Not today, my friend." Corvus Wyatt twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Blaylock Samson four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
11:09:14: Ignoracious Buttafucco does not normally mourn death. Ignoracious Buttafucco is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of Ignoracious Buttafucco thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as Corvus Wyatt emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. Corvus Wyatt dove, taking a shot mid-air. Corvus Wyatt was not thinking about human connection, unlike Ignoracious Buttafucco. This is arguably why Ignoracious Buttafucco was shot in the gut. Corvus Wyatt resumes their delivery, package in tow.
11:10:23: Glenn Murphy stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure Corvus Wyatt's destruction. Instead Corvus Wyatt resumes on their way, Glenn Murphy's agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
11:10:25: Corvus Wyatt is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Corvus Wyatt smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Corvus Wyatt lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Corvus Wyatt's adrenaline. Glenn Murphy fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Corvus Wyatt. "Not today, my friend." Corvus Wyatt twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Glenn Murphy four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
11:10:29: Glenn Murphy tried to sneak on board Corvus Wyatt's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Corvus Wyatt continues their delivery.
11:10:35: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. Glenn Murphy has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. Corvus Wyatt ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. Corvus Wyatt almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in Glenn Murphy's trap. Frantic, Corvus Wyatt activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, Corvus Wyatt hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As Glenn Murphy manically runs after Corvus Wyatt firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of Corvus Wyatt's grenades, losing a leg. Corvus Wyatt continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
11:10:39: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Glenn Murphy. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Glenn Murphy mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Glenn Murphy took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Glenn Murphy put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Glenn Murphy crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Corvus Wyatt to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Corvus Wyatt came into view. Glenn Murphy pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Glenn Murphy had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Glenn Murphy barely heard Corvus Wyatt running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Corvus Wyatt continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
12:36:41: Ignoracious Buttafucco misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Corvus Wyatt. Corvus Wyatt resumes delivery of their package.
13:27:37: Corvus Wyatt was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Blaylock Samson. Luckily, Corvus Wyatt vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Corvus Wyatt resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
14:07:29: Mac Nielson is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by Corvus Wyatt after a failed package theft attempt. Corvus Wyatt resumes on their way.
14:07:51: Someone once told Toe Cutter the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Corvus Wyatt got one over on Toe Cutter once before. So definitely, for Toe Cutter, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Toe Cutter stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Toe Cutter see's Corvus Wyatt running hurriedly down the street. Toe Cutter takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Toe Cutter ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Corvus Wyatt doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Toe Cutter did not see before. Toe Cutter takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Corvus Wyatt escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
15:00:28: Someone once told Blaylock Samson that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Blaylock Samson knows Corvus Wyatt has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Blaylock Samson but the time is almost here. Corvus Wyatt's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Blaylock Samson's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Blaylock Samson is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Blaylock Samson the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Corvus Wyatt's ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
15:44:24: Glenn Murphy steadily took aim from a second story window as Corvus Wyatt ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Glenn Murphy inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Corvus Wyatt resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
15:44:28: Glenn Murphy steadily took aim from a second story window as Corvus Wyatt ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Glenn Murphy inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Corvus Wyatt resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
15:44:30: Corvus Wyatt is riddled with repetitive machine gun fire from Glenn Murphy, falling to their knees and letting the package slip from their fingers. "Parcel transferred." Glenn Murphy resumes delivery with the package.
15:51:22: Corvus Wyatt shot a missile at Glenn Murphy and obliterated their ship. All that was left was the package which was picked up and continued its journey with Corvus Wyatt.
15:51:45: Corvus Wyatt took a shortcut due to a fake sign placed by Glenn Murphy, tripping over a portable road spike, and then landing in a field of Guruvian Nesters, an exotic species known for their sexual appetite. Glenn Murphy currently has the package.
15:52:42: Glenn Murphy took a shortcut due to a fake sign placed by Corvus Wyatt, tripping over a portable road spike, and then landing in a field of Guruvian Nesters, an exotic species known for their sexual appetite. Corvus Wyatt currently has the package.
15:53:32: Glenn Murphy does not normally mourn death. Glenn Murphy is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of Glenn Murphy thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as Corvus Wyatt emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. Corvus Wyatt dove, taking a shot mid-air. Corvus Wyatt was not thinking about human connection, unlike Glenn Murphy. This is arguably why Glenn Murphy was shot in the gut. Corvus Wyatt resumes their delivery, package in tow.
15:53:37: Glenn Murphy does not normally mourn death. Glenn Murphy is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of Glenn Murphy thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as Corvus Wyatt emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. Corvus Wyatt dove, taking a shot mid-air. Corvus Wyatt was not thinking about human connection, unlike Glenn Murphy. This is arguably why Glenn Murphy was shot in the gut. Corvus Wyatt resumes their delivery, package in tow.
15:53:41: Corvus Wyatt has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. Corvus Wyatt is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Glenn Murphy" scrawled on it in pink paint. Glenn Murphy picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Corvus Wyatt. Fuck eaten. Good job, Glenn Murphy. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
15:56:08: As Glenn Murphy rounds a corner, they are distracted for more than a split second by a hastily posted cardboard cut-out of a Zyxxan Hound fornicating with a famous human politician from centuries before. This momentarily lapse in focus is all Corvus Wyatt needs in order to slam a large whirring chainsaw into the chest of Glenn Murphy. "Parcel transferred."
16:00:31: Mac Nielson stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure Corvus Wyatt's destruction. Instead Corvus Wyatt resumes on their way, Mac Nielson's agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
16:06:58: Glenn Murphy is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by Corvus Wyatt after a failed package theft attempt. Corvus Wyatt resumes on their way.
16:07:00: Glenn Murphy stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure Corvus Wyatt's destruction. Instead Corvus Wyatt resumes on their way, Glenn Murphy's agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
16:07:02: Glenn Murphy is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by Corvus Wyatt after a failed package theft attempt. Corvus Wyatt resumes on their way.
16:07:04: Glenn Murphy steadily took aim from a second story window as Corvus Wyatt ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Glenn Murphy inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Corvus Wyatt resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
16:07:06: Corvus Wyatt is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Corvus Wyatt smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Corvus Wyatt lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Corvus Wyatt's adrenaline. Glenn Murphy fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Corvus Wyatt. "Not today, my friend." Corvus Wyatt twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Glenn Murphy four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
16:07:09: Corvus Wyatt is bloody from head to toe after a rough number of successful entanglements. "Geronimo, fuckstick!" They look up at the voice and see a a dot in the sky. It quickly turns into two dots: a sky born Glenn Murphy on a rocket powered hang-glider, and the portable thermonuclear device they've dropped. "Parcel transferred," can be heard from dispatch as Glenn Murphy swoops past the mangled corpse and snags the package.
16:08:02: Package delivered by Glenn Murphy for $600,000