16:50:19: Package picked up by Nicholas Jusino
16:50:20: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) knows @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
17:00:55: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino). @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes delivery of their package.
18:08:08: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). This is arguably why @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
19:00:02: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) manically runs after @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
20:05:04: @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
21:01:16: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) came into view. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) barely heard @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
22:03:13: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes on their way.
23:37:27: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) got one over on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) see's @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) did not see before. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
00:52:32: Package delivered by Nicholas Jusino for $160,000