17:07:24: Package picked up by Iggy Starlord
17:07:25: Someone once told Mac Nielson the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Iggy Starlord got one over on Mac Nielson once before. So definitely, for Mac Nielson, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Mac Nielson stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Mac Nielson see's Iggy Starlord running hurriedly down the street. Mac Nielson takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Mac Nielson ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Iggy Starlord doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Mac Nielson did not see before. Mac Nielson takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Iggy Starlord escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
17:51:58: Iggy Starlord has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. Iggy Starlord is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Calto Fremis" scrawled on it in pink paint. Calto Fremis picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Iggy Starlord. Fuck eaten. Good job, Calto Fremis. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
17:53:47: Iggy Starlord fires two pistol shots at Calto Fremis's kneecaps, dropping them to their knees. "Parcel transferred."
18:00:32: Iggy Starlord is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Iggy Starlord smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Iggy Starlord lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Iggy Starlord's adrenaline. Ignoracious Buttafucco fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Iggy Starlord. "Not today, my friend." Iggy Starlord twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Ignoracious Buttafucco four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
18:07:24: Package delivered by Iggy Starlord for $80,000