21:27:11: Package picked up by O.D. Bodkins
21:27:12: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson).  A wonderful breakfast.  "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing?  I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery."  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal.  "Ah, that's the one.  I'm here already."  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_221(O.D. Bodkins) to come running down the road, package in tow.  "I know this one.  Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum.  They won't be able to handle this either."  @peepso_user_221(O.D. Bodkins) came into view.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism.  Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) had just left.  "What?  How?"  As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) barely heard @peepso_user_221(O.D. Bodkins) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!"  @peepso_user_221(O.D. Bodkins) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
22:00:09: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stumbles into their own trap:  a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_221(O.D. Bodkins)'s destruction.  Instead @peepso_user_221(O.D. Bodkins) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
22:27:36: Package delivered by O.D. Bodkins for $40,000