16:03:07: Package picked up by Leroy Palestine
16:03:08: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. Mac Nielson has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. Leroy Palestine ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. Leroy Palestine almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in Mac Nielson's trap. Frantic, Leroy Palestine activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, Leroy Palestine hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As Mac Nielson manically runs after Leroy Palestine firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of Leroy Palestine's grenades, losing a leg. Leroy Palestine continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
17:11:26: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Mac Nielson. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Mac Nielson mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Mac Nielson took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Mac Nielson put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Mac Nielson crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Leroy Palestine to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Leroy Palestine came into view. Mac Nielson pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Mac Nielson had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Mac Nielson barely heard Leroy Palestine running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Leroy Palestine continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
18:03:28: Blaylock Samson tried to sneak on board Leroy Palestine's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Leroy Palestine continues their delivery.
19:44:09: Someone once told Blaylock Samson that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Blaylock Samson knows Leroy Palestine has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Blaylock Samson but the time is almost here. Leroy Palestine's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Blaylock Samson's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Blaylock Samson is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Blaylock Samson the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Leroy Palestine's ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
20:36:16: Ignoracious Buttafucco steadily took aim from a second story window as Leroy Palestine ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Ignoracious Buttafucco inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Leroy Palestine resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
21:00:48: Mac Nielson tried to sneak on board Leroy Palestine's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Leroy Palestine continues their delivery.
22:17:12: Blaylock Samson is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by Leroy Palestine after a failed package theft attempt. Leroy Palestine resumes on their way.
22:17:48: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Sonny Bill Spider hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that Sonny Bill Spider has used it, targeting Leroy Palestine's ship as it races across the horizon. However, Leroy Palestine's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. Sonny Bill Spider's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. Leroy Palestine dips their ship, skirting past Sonny Bill Spider and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
22:17:52: Someone once told Sonny Bill Spider that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Sonny Bill Spider knows Leroy Palestine has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Sonny Bill Spider but the time is almost here. Leroy Palestine's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Sonny Bill Spider's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Sonny Bill Spider is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Sonny Bill Spider the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Leroy Palestine's ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
22:17:56: Leroy Palestine is riddled with repetitive machine gun fire from Sonny Bill Spider, falling to their knees and letting the package slip from their fingers. "Parcel transferred." Sonny Bill Spider resumes delivery with the package.
23:47:48: Someone once told Ignoracious Buttafucco that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Ignoracious Buttafucco knows Sonny Bill Spider has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Ignoracious Buttafucco but the time is almost here. Sonny Bill Spider's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Ignoracious Buttafucco's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Ignoracious Buttafucco is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Ignoracious Buttafucco the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Sonny Bill Spider's ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
23:47:54: Sonny Bill Spider takes two shotgun blasts directly to the spine from Leroy Palestine, who continues on their way with the package. "Parcel transferred." Sonny Bill Spider will be paying a deductible to get this fixed.
00:03:29: Package delivered by Leroy Palestine for $240,000