04:06:53: Package picked up by Mercer Pompadour
04:06:54: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
05:00:34: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) resumes on their way.
06:00:38: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) manically runs after @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
07:00:25: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) got one over on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) see's @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) did not see before. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
08:00:39: @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
09:00:35: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) came into view. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) barely heard @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
10:00:21: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
11:00:38: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) manically runs after @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
12:00:23: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_140(Mercer Pompadour) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
12:07:34: Package delivered by Mercer Pompadour for $180,000