18:26:01: Package picked up by John Kilgour
18:26:02: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Blaylock Samson. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Blaylock Samson mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Blaylock Samson took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Blaylock Samson put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Blaylock Samson crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for John Kilgour to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." John Kilgour came into view. Blaylock Samson pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Blaylock Samson had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Blaylock Samson barely heard John Kilgour running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" John Kilgour continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
19:05:50: Calto Fremis steadily took aim from a second story window as Feisty Gazebo ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Calto Fremis inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Feisty Gazebo resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
19:05:53: The smell of Feisty Gazebo's completely immolated ship flares up Calto Fremis's nostrils as a tow cable yanks the package from the flaming wreck. "Parcel transferred" emit's from Calto Fremis's bracelet, signaling more credits to be made. Calto Fremis continues towards the delivery point, package in tow.
19:10:04: Calto Fremis was feeling THAT feeling. The feeling of the win just over the horizon. A smile crept across Calto Fremis's face, thinking of exactly what they would use these credits to purchase, when Feisty Gazebo launched an electrified bola at their feet. Calto Fremis can't quite internalize that the most painful step is also the most confident, as a dart is lodged into their neck before Calto Fremis's head even hits the ground, bringing on many hours of sleep. Feisty Gazebo smiles as their delivery bracelet emits the familiar "Parcel transferred" message.
19:21:08: Someone once told Calto Fremis the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Feisty Gazebo got one over on Calto Fremis once before. So definitely, for Calto Fremis, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Calto Fremis stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Calto Fremis see's Feisty Gazebo running hurriedly down the street. Calto Fremis takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Calto Fremis ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Feisty Gazebo doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Calto Fremis did not see before. Calto Fremis takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Feisty Gazebo escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
19:21:14: Feisty Gazebo leaps off of a second story building on to a tall dumpster, shortening the fall. Unfortunately this dumpster is full of explosives placed by Calto Fremis. Calto Fremis smiles as they plunge their thumb onto the detonator switch, their face ignited by a pillar of flames as Feisty Gazebo is incinerated. Calto Fremis throws the detonator over their shoulder as they pick up the package that rolls to their feet as if it was meant for them. Calto Fremis breaks into a fast run, taking the stolen package with them. "Parcel transferred," emits from their delivery bracelet signifying even more credits to be earned. "Parcel transferred, indeed," Calto Fremis whispers in reply.
19:21:37: Calto Fremis took a shortcut due to a fake sign placed by Feisty Gazebo, tripping over a portable road spike, and then landing in a field of Guruvian Nesters, an exotic species known for their sexual appetite. Feisty Gazebo currently has the package.
19:22:04: Calto Fremis tried to sneak on board Feisty Gazebo's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Feisty Gazebo continues their delivery.
19:22:12: Feisty Gazebo has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from Calto Fremis's MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to Calto Fremis, but flung to unknown reaches of the universe. "Parcel transferred."
19:22:46: Someone once told Feisty Gazebo that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Feisty Gazebo knows Calto Fremis has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Feisty Gazebo but the time is almost here. Calto Fremis's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Feisty Gazebo's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Feisty Gazebo is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Feisty Gazebo the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Calto Fremis's ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
19:23:02: Calto Fremis is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Calto Fremis smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Calto Fremis lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Calto Fremis's adrenaline. Feisty Gazebo fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Calto Fremis. "Not today, my friend." Calto Fremis twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Feisty Gazebo four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
19:23:17: Feisty Gazebo tried to sneak on board Calto Fremis's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Calto Fremis continues their delivery.
19:23:40: Calto Fremis has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from Feisty Gazebo's MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to Feisty Gazebo, but flung to unknown reaches of the universe. "Parcel transferred."
19:23:50: Feisty Gazebo has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from Calto Fremis's MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to Calto Fremis, but flung to unknown reaches of the universe. "Parcel transferred."
19:24:04: Calto Fremis has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from Feisty Gazebo's MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to Feisty Gazebo, but flung to unknown reaches of the universe. "Parcel transferred."
19:24:18: Feisty Gazebo has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. Feisty Gazebo is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Calto Fremis" scrawled on it in pink paint. Calto Fremis picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Feisty Gazebo. Fuck eaten. Good job, Calto Fremis. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
19:24:26: Calto Fremis is riddled with repetitive machine gun fire from Feisty Gazebo, falling to their knees and letting the package slip from their fingers. "Parcel transferred." Feisty Gazebo resumes delivery with the package.
19:24:48: Feisty Gazebo was feeling THAT feeling. The feeling of the win just over the horizon. A smile crept across Feisty Gazebo's face, thinking of exactly what they would use these credits to purchase, when Calto Fremis launched an electrified bola at their feet. Feisty Gazebo can't quite internalize that the most painful step is also the most confident, as a dart is lodged into their neck before Feisty Gazebo's head even hits the ground, bringing on many hours of sleep. Calto Fremis smiles as their delivery bracelet emits the familiar "Parcel transferred" message.
19:24:57: Calto Fremis was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Feisty Gazebo. Luckily, Calto Fremis vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Calto Fremis resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
19:26:02: Package delivered by Calto Fremis for $380,000