19:47:26: Package picked up by Jack Corbeau
19:47:27: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) ran by below.  Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger.  It was a miss.  @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
20:00:02: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) after a failed package theft attempt.  @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes on their way.
21:00:02: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) does not normally mourn death.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another.  But that last death.  A split second of @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow.  The shot missed.  @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) dove, taking a shot mid-air.  @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson).  This is arguably why @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) was shot in the gut.  @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
22:01:02: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco).  A wonderful breakfast.  "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) mused, "Why ruin a good thing?  I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery."  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal.  "Ah, that's the one.  I'm here already."  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) to come running down the road, package in tow.  "I know this one.  Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum.  They won't be able to handle this either."  @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) came into view.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism.  Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) had just left.  "What?  How?"  As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) barely heard @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!"  @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
23:00:35: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) does not normally mourn death.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another.  But that last death.  A split second of @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow.  The shot missed.  @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) dove, taking a shot mid-air.  @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson).  This is arguably why @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) was shot in the gut.  @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
23:47:57: Package delivered by Jack Corbeau for $100,000