04:05:49: Package picked up by StacyStace Edmonds
04:05:50: Ignoracious Buttafucco tried to sneak on board StacyStace Edmonds's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. StacyStace Edmonds continues their delivery.
04:56:13: Jax TellHER is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Jax TellHER smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Jax TellHER lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Jax TellHER's adrenaline. Daggwood Bronson fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Jax TellHER. "Not today, my friend." Jax TellHER twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Daggwood Bronson four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
05:04:04: Someone once told Harrison Ware the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Jax TellHER got one over on Harrison Ware once before. So definitely, for Harrison Ware, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Harrison Ware stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Harrison Ware see's Jax TellHER running hurriedly down the street. Harrison Ware takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Harrison Ware ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Jax TellHER doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Harrison Ware did not see before. Harrison Ware takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Jax TellHER escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
05:04:11: Jax TellHER has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from Harrison Ware's MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to Harrison Ware, but flung to unknown reaches of the universe. "Parcel transferred."
05:04:33: Harrison Ware is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Harrison Ware smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Harrison Ware lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Harrison Ware's adrenaline. Sable Nyx fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Harrison Ware. "Not today, my friend." Harrison Ware twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Sable Nyx four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
05:05:02: Harrison Ware was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Jax TellHER. Luckily, Harrison Ware vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Harrison Ware resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
05:05:08: Buckaroo Banzai steadily took aim from a second story window as Harrison Ware ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Buckaroo Banzai inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Harrison Ware resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
05:05:18: Someone once told Buckaroo Banzai the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Harrison Ware got one over on Buckaroo Banzai once before. So definitely, for Buckaroo Banzai, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Buckaroo Banzai stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Buckaroo Banzai see's Harrison Ware running hurriedly down the street. Buckaroo Banzai takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Buckaroo Banzai ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Harrison Ware doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Buckaroo Banzai did not see before. Buckaroo Banzai takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Harrison Ware escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
05:05:26: Someone once told Buckaroo Banzai that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Buckaroo Banzai knows Harrison Ware has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Buckaroo Banzai but the time is almost here. Harrison Ware's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Buckaroo Banzai's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Buckaroo Banzai is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Buckaroo Banzai the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Harrison Ware's thief rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
05:05:35: Harrison Ware was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Buckaroo Banzai. Luckily, Harrison Ware vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Harrison Ware resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
05:05:41: Buckaroo Banzai steadily took aim from a second story window as Harrison Ware ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Buckaroo Banzai inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Harrison Ware resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
05:05:47: Harrison Ware took a shortcut due to a fake sign placed by Buckaroo Banzai, tripping over a portable road spike, and then landing in a field of Guruvian Nesters, an exotic species known for their sexual appetite. Buckaroo Banzai currently has the package.
05:05:53: Package delivered by Buckaroo Banzai for $240,000