10:20:26: Package picked up by Feisty Gazebo
10:20:27: Ignoracious Buttafucco stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure Feisty Gazebo's destruction. Instead Feisty Gazebo resumes on their way, Ignoracious Buttafucco's agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
11:00:43: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Ignoracious Buttafucco hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that Ignoracious Buttafucco has used it, targeting Feisty Gazebo's ship as it races across the horizon. However, Feisty Gazebo's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. Ignoracious Buttafucco's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. Feisty Gazebo dips their ship, skirting past Ignoracious Buttafucco and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
12:00:45: Ignoracious Buttafucco is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by Feisty Gazebo after a failed package theft attempt. Feisty Gazebo resumes on their way.
13:00:46: Blaylock Samson tried to sneak on board Feisty Gazebo's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Feisty Gazebo continues their delivery.
14:00:38: Feisty Gazebo was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Blaylock Samson. Luckily, Feisty Gazebo vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Feisty Gazebo resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
15:00:50: Feisty Gazebo was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Ignoracious Buttafucco. Luckily, Feisty Gazebo vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Feisty Gazebo resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
15:15:05: Feisty Gazebo was feeling THAT feeling. The feeling of the win just over the horizon. A smile crept across Feisty Gazebo's face, thinking of exactly what they would use these credits to purchase, when L.R. Snipestress launched an electrified bola at their feet. Feisty Gazebo can't quite internalize that the most painful step is also the most confident, as a dart is lodged into their neck before Feisty Gazebo's head even hits the ground, bringing on many hours of sleep. L.R. Snipestress smiles as their delivery bracelet emits the familiar "Parcel transferred" message.
15:24:28: Someone once told Feisty Gazebo the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. L.R. Snipestress got one over on Feisty Gazebo once before. So definitely, for Feisty Gazebo, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Feisty Gazebo stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Feisty Gazebo see's L.R. Snipestress running hurriedly down the street. Feisty Gazebo takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Feisty Gazebo ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. L.R. Snipestress doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Feisty Gazebo did not see before. Feisty Gazebo takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see L.R. Snipestress escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
15:24:40: Feisty Gazebo's ship fires two nuclear torpedos into L.R. Snipestress's ship, instantly incinerating it. The package is snagged by a lengthy magnetic tow cable. "Parcel transferred."
16:00:33: Feisty Gazebo is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Feisty Gazebo smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Feisty Gazebo lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Feisty Gazebo's adrenaline. Blaylock Samson fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Feisty Gazebo. "Not today, my friend." Feisty Gazebo twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Blaylock Samson four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
16:01:21: Feisty Gazebo takes two shotgun blasts directly to the spine from Leroy Palestine, who continues on their way with the package. "Parcel transferred." Feisty Gazebo will be paying a deductible to get this fixed.
17:00:50: Leroy Palestine was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Mac Nielson. Luckily, Leroy Palestine vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Leroy Palestine resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
18:00:50: Ignoracious Buttafucco tried to sneak on board Leroy Palestine's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Leroy Palestine continues their delivery.
18:01:37: Long Dread shot a missile at Leroy Palestine and obliterated their ship. All that was left was the package which was picked up and continued its journey with Long Dread.
18:20:38: Package delivered by Long Dread for $280,000