05:03:44: Package picked up by Calto Fremis
05:03:45: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Blaylock Samson. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Blaylock Samson mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Blaylock Samson took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Blaylock Samson put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Blaylock Samson crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Calto Fremis to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Calto Fremis came into view. Blaylock Samson pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Blaylock Samson had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Blaylock Samson barely heard Calto Fremis running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Calto Fremis continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
05:23:46: The wonderful thing about lasers, although expensive, is their ability to slice entirely through a surface and sever. Calto Fremis rounds a corner and only has a split second to see a blinding red light, before being decapitated by a slicingly accurate laser blast from Long Dread. The package rolls to their feet. "Parcel transferred." Long Dread resumes delivery of the stolen package.
05:30:31: Someone once told Calto Fremis the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Long Dread got one over on Calto Fremis once before. So definitely, for Calto Fremis, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Calto Fremis stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Calto Fremis see's Long Dread running hurriedly down the street. Calto Fremis takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Calto Fremis ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Long Dread doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Calto Fremis did not see before. Calto Fremis takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Long Dread escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
05:30:57: Calto Fremis does not normally mourn death. Calto Fremis is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of Calto Fremis thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as Long Dread emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. Long Dread dove, taking a shot mid-air. Long Dread was not thinking about human connection, unlike Calto Fremis. This is arguably why Calto Fremis was shot in the gut. Long Dread resumes their delivery, package in tow.
05:31:04: Calto Fremis's ship fires two nuclear torpedos into Long Dread's ship, instantly incinerating it. The package is snagged by a lengthy magnetic tow cable. "Parcel transferred."
05:47:23: Long Dread's ship fires two nuclear torpedos into Calto Fremis's ship, instantly incinerating it. The package is snagged by a lengthy magnetic tow cable. "Parcel transferred."
06:01:46: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Ignoracious Buttafucco hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that Ignoracious Buttafucco has used it, targeting Long Dread's ship as it races across the horizon. However, Long Dread's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. Ignoracious Buttafucco's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. Long Dread dips their ship, skirting past Ignoracious Buttafucco and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
06:04:27: Package delivered by Long Dread for $140,000