18:26:56: Package picked up by Iggy Starlord
18:26:57: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Mac Nielson hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that Mac Nielson has used it, targeting Iggy Starlord's ship as it races across the horizon. However, Iggy Starlord's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. Mac Nielson's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. Iggy Starlord dips their ship, skirting past Mac Nielson and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
18:51:48: Column McClowed bludgeons Iggy Starlord unconscious with a large metal crowbar, laughing and dancing over their bloody mangled body. "Parcel transferred."
19:00:22: Column McClowed was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Blaylock Samson. Luckily, Column McClowed vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Column McClowed resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
20:00:24: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. Mac Nielson has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. Column McClowed ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. Column McClowed almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in Mac Nielson's trap. Frantic, Column McClowed activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, Column McClowed hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As Mac Nielson manically runs after Column McClowed firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of Column McClowed's grenades, losing a leg. Column McClowed continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
21:00:30: Someone once told Mac Nielson that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Mac Nielson knows Column McClowed has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Mac Nielson but the time is almost here. Column McClowed's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Mac Nielson's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Mac Nielson is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Mac Nielson the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Column McClowed's ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
21:39:29: Column McClowed took a shortcut due to a fake sign placed by Iggy Starlord, tripping over a portable road spike, and then landing in a field of Guruvian Nesters, an exotic species known for their sexual appetite. Iggy Starlord currently has the package.
22:00:36: Ignoracious Buttafucco is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by Iggy Starlord after a failed package theft attempt. Iggy Starlord resumes on their way.
22:26:59: Package delivered by Iggy Starlord for $140,000