07:53:33: Package picked up by Calto Fremis
07:53:34: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) came into view. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) barely heard @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
08:04:56: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) manically runs after @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
09:03:41: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) continues their delivery.
10:00:36: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
11:05:15: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) continues their delivery.
11:57:36: Someone once told @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) got one over on @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) see's @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) did not see before. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
11:59:00: @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
12:01:21: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
13:03:05: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
14:01:08: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) resumes on their way.
14:14:35: @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial)'s ship fires two nuclear torpedos into @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship, instantly incinerating it. The package is snagged by a lengthy magnetic tow cable. "Parcel transferred."
14:59:07: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial). @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) resumes delivery of their package.
15:00:21: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
15:01:23: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) successfully spears @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) to a wall through their chest. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) has time to yell, "You bastard," as @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) snags the package from the ground in front of them. "Parcel transferred."
15:53:40: Package delivered by Shadowrabbit Clayguy for $280,000