16:02:02: Package picked up by Leroy Palestine
16:02:03: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery of their package.
17:06:17: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). Luckily, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
17:27:28: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
17:28:08: Someone once told @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) got one over on @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) see's @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) did not see before. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
18:11:37: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
19:05:39: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) knows @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
19:05:49: @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes on their way.
20:33:07: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) continues their delivery.
21:09:21: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) continues their delivery.
21:09:33: The smell of @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s completely immolated ship flares up @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord)'s nostrils as a tow cable yanks the package from the flaming wreck. "Parcel transferred" emit's from @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord)'s bracelet, signaling more credits to be made. @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) continues towards the delivery point, package in tow.
22:06:51: @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). Luckily, @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
23:33:19: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). This is arguably why @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
00:04:11: Package delivered by Iggy Starlord for $240,000