16:04:01: Package picked up by Calto Fremis
16:04:02: Ignoracious Buttafucco misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Calto Fremis. Calto Fremis resumes delivery of their package.
17:00:27: Calto Fremis is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Calto Fremis smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Calto Fremis lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Calto Fremis's adrenaline. Blaylock Samson fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Calto Fremis. "Not today, my friend." Calto Fremis twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Blaylock Samson four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
18:00:10: Blaylock Samson steadily took aim from a second story window as Calto Fremis ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Blaylock Samson inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Calto Fremis resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
19:00:32: Calto Fremis was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Blaylock Samson. Luckily, Calto Fremis vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Calto Fremis resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
20:00:44: Blaylock Samson misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Calto Fremis. Calto Fremis resumes delivery of their package.
21:00:39: Blaylock Samson steadily took aim from a second story window as Calto Fremis ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Blaylock Samson inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Calto Fremis resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
21:09:07: Feisty Gazebo steadily took aim from a second story window as Calto Fremis ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Feisty Gazebo inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Calto Fremis resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
21:09:14: Calto Fremis has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. Calto Fremis is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Feisty Gazebo" scrawled on it in pink paint. Feisty Gazebo picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Calto Fremis. Fuck eaten. Good job, Feisty Gazebo. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
22:00:36: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. Blaylock Samson has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. Feisty Gazebo ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. Feisty Gazebo almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in Blaylock Samson's trap. Frantic, Feisty Gazebo activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, Feisty Gazebo hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As Blaylock Samson manically runs after Feisty Gazebo firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of Feisty Gazebo's grenades, losing a leg. Feisty Gazebo continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
23:00:39: Mac Nielson stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure Feisty Gazebo's destruction. Instead Feisty Gazebo resumes on their way, Mac Nielson's agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
23:22:42: As Feisty Gazebo rounds a corner, they are distracted for more than a split second by a hastily posted cardboard cut-out of a Zyxxan Hound fornicating with a famous human politician from centuries before. This momentarily lapse in focus is all Column McClowed needs in order to slam a large whirring chainsaw into the chest of Feisty Gazebo. "Parcel transferred."
23:26:49: Column McClowed is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Column McClowed smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Column McClowed lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Column McClowed's adrenaline. L.R. Snipestress fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Column McClowed. "Not today, my friend." Column McClowed twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting L.R. Snipestress four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
23:26:53: L.R. Snipestress bludgeons Column McClowed unconscious with a large metal crowbar, laughing and dancing over their bloody mangled body. "Parcel transferred."
00:04:35: Package delivered by L.R. Snipestress for $260,000