19:27:48: Package picked up by Jeff Colen
19:27:49: @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). Luckily, @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
20:00:40: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) came into view. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) barely heard @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
20:30:22: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
20:30:28: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) bludgeons @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) unconscious with a large metal crowbar, laughing and dancing over their bloody mangled body. "Parcel transferred."
20:30:57: @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
20:31:24: @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
20:31:47: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen). Luckily, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
20:32:26: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
21:00:39: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
22:00:01: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). This is arguably why @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
22:01:21: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is bloody from head to toe after a rough number of successful entanglements. "Geronimo, fuckstick!" They look up at the voice and see a a dot in the sky. It quickly turns into two dots: a sky born @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) on a rocket powered hang-glider, and the portable thermonuclear device they've dropped. "Parcel transferred," can be heard from dispatch as @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) swoops past the mangled corpse and snags the package.
23:00:20: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
23:27:24: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) came into view. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) barely heard @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
23:27:29: @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) fires two pistol shots at @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s kneecaps, dropping them to their knees. "Parcel transferred."
23:27:50: Package delivered by Jeff Colen for $280,000