05:07:36: Package picked up by Buckaroo Banzai
05:07:37: Ignoracious Buttafucco tried to sneak on board Buckaroo Banzai's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Buckaroo Banzai continues their delivery.
05:10:26: Buckaroo Banzai is riddled with repetitive machine gun fire from Leroy Palestine, falling to their knees and letting the package slip from their fingers. "Parcel transferred." Leroy Palestine resumes delivery with the package.
05:11:48: Buckaroo Banzai tried to sneak on board Leroy Palestine's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Leroy Palestine continues their delivery.
05:11:52: Someone once told Buckaroo Banzai the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Leroy Palestine got one over on Buckaroo Banzai once before. So definitely, for Buckaroo Banzai, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Buckaroo Banzai stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Buckaroo Banzai see's Leroy Palestine running hurriedly down the street. Buckaroo Banzai takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Buckaroo Banzai ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Leroy Palestine doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Buckaroo Banzai did not see before. Buckaroo Banzai takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Leroy Palestine escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
05:12:05: Leroy Palestine is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Leroy Palestine smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Leroy Palestine lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Leroy Palestine's adrenaline. Buckaroo Banzai fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Leroy Palestine. "Not today, my friend." Leroy Palestine twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Buckaroo Banzai four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
05:12:12: Leroy Palestine is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Leroy Palestine smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Leroy Palestine lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Leroy Palestine's adrenaline. Buckaroo Banzai fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Leroy Palestine. "Not today, my friend." Leroy Palestine twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Buckaroo Banzai four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
05:13:43: Buckaroo Banzai tried to sneak on board Leroy Palestine's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Leroy Palestine continues their delivery.
05:13:49: Leroy Palestine was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Buckaroo Banzai. Luckily, Leroy Palestine vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Leroy Palestine resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
05:13:56: Leroy Palestine is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Leroy Palestine smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Leroy Palestine lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Leroy Palestine's adrenaline. Buckaroo Banzai fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Leroy Palestine. "Not today, my friend." Leroy Palestine twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Buckaroo Banzai four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
05:14:08: Leroy Palestine is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Leroy Palestine smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Leroy Palestine lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Leroy Palestine's adrenaline. Buckaroo Banzai fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Leroy Palestine. "Not today, my friend." Leroy Palestine twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Buckaroo Banzai four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
05:17:56: Leroy Palestine took a shortcut due to a fake sign placed by Buckaroo Banzai, tripping over a portable road spike, and then landing in a field of Guruvian Nesters, an exotic species known for their sexual appetite. Buckaroo Banzai currently has the package.
05:18:18: The smell of Buckaroo Banzai's completely immolated ship flares up Leroy Palestine's nostrils as a tow cable yanks the package from the flaming wreck. "Parcel transferred" emit's from Leroy Palestine's bracelet, signaling more credits to be made. Leroy Palestine continues towards the delivery point, package in tow.
05:43:41: The smell of Leroy Palestine's completely immolated ship flares up Buckaroo Banzai's nostrils as a tow cable yanks the package from the flaming wreck. "Parcel transferred" emit's from Buckaroo Banzai's bracelet, signaling more credits to be made. Buckaroo Banzai continues towards the delivery point, package in tow.
06:06:34: Buckaroo Banzai is riddled with repetitive machine gun fire from Leroy Palestine, falling to their knees and letting the package slip from their fingers. "Parcel transferred." Leroy Palestine resumes delivery with the package.
06:06:49: Leroy Palestine has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. Leroy Palestine is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Buckaroo Banzai" scrawled on it in pink paint. Buckaroo Banzai picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Leroy Palestine. Fuck eaten. Good job, Buckaroo Banzai. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
06:06:58: Someone once told Leroy Palestine the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Buckaroo Banzai got one over on Leroy Palestine once before. So definitely, for Leroy Palestine, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Leroy Palestine stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Leroy Palestine see's Buckaroo Banzai running hurriedly down the street. Leroy Palestine takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Leroy Palestine ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Buckaroo Banzai doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Leroy Palestine did not see before. Leroy Palestine takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Buckaroo Banzai escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
06:07:02: Someone once told Leroy Palestine that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Leroy Palestine knows Buckaroo Banzai has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Leroy Palestine but the time is almost here. Buckaroo Banzai's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Leroy Palestine's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Leroy Palestine is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Leroy Palestine the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Buckaroo Banzai's thief rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
06:07:05: Leroy Palestine shot a missile at Buckaroo Banzai and obliterated their ship. All that was left was the package which was picked up and continued its journey with Leroy Palestine.
06:07:11: Buckaroo Banzai shot a missile at Leroy Palestine and obliterated their ship. All that was left was the package which was picked up and continued its journey with Buckaroo Banzai.
06:07:17: Harrison Ware steadily took aim from a second story window as Buckaroo Banzai ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Harrison Ware inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Buckaroo Banzai resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
06:07:19: Buckaroo Banzai has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. Buckaroo Banzai is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Leroy Palestine" scrawled on it in pink paint. Leroy Palestine picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Buckaroo Banzai. Fuck eaten. Good job, Leroy Palestine. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
06:07:22: Someone once told Harrison Ware the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Leroy Palestine got one over on Harrison Ware once before. So definitely, for Harrison Ware, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Harrison Ware stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Harrison Ware see's Leroy Palestine running hurriedly down the street. Harrison Ware takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Harrison Ware ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Leroy Palestine doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Harrison Ware did not see before. Harrison Ware takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Leroy Palestine escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
06:07:37: Package delivered by Leroy Palestine for $440,000