20:40:05: Package picked up by Column McClowed
20:40:06: Mac Nielson does not normally mourn death. Mac Nielson is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of Mac Nielson thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as Column McClowed emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. Column McClowed dove, taking a shot mid-air. Column McClowed was not thinking about human connection, unlike Mac Nielson. This is arguably why Mac Nielson was shot in the gut. Column McClowed resumes their delivery, package in tow.
21:27:51: Column McClowed was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Blaylock Samson. Luckily, Column McClowed vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Column McClowed resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
22:41:16: Ignoracious Buttafucco misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Column McClowed. Column McClowed resumes delivery of their package.
22:41:20: As Column McClowed rounds a corner, they are distracted for more than a split second by a hastily posted cardboard cut-out of a Zyxxan Hound fornicating with a famous human politician from centuries before. This momentarily lapse in focus is all Long Dread needs in order to slam a large whirring chainsaw into the chest of Column McClowed. "Parcel transferred."
23:57:59: Ignoracious Buttafucco misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Long Dread. Long Dread resumes delivery of their package.
04:00:35: Package delivered by Long Dread for $100,000