04:34:37: Package picked up by Sonny Bill Spider
04:34:38: Mac Nielson stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure Sonny Bill Spider's destruction. Instead Sonny Bill Spider resumes on their way, Mac Nielson's agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
05:00:22: Blaylock Samson steadily took aim from a second story window as Sonny Bill Spider ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Blaylock Samson inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Sonny Bill Spider resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
06:00:23: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Ignoracious Buttafucco hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that Ignoracious Buttafucco has used it, targeting Sonny Bill Spider's ship as it races across the horizon. However, Sonny Bill Spider's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. Ignoracious Buttafucco's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. Sonny Bill Spider dips their ship, skirting past Ignoracious Buttafucco and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
07:00:23: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Mac Nielson. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Mac Nielson mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Mac Nielson took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Mac Nielson put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Mac Nielson crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Sonny Bill Spider to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Sonny Bill Spider came into view. Mac Nielson pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Mac Nielson had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Mac Nielson barely heard Sonny Bill Spider running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Sonny Bill Spider continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
07:34:47: Leroy Palestine fires two pistol shots at Sonny Bill Spider's kneecaps, dropping them to their knees. "Parcel transferred."
08:00:24: Mac Nielson misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Leroy Palestine. Leroy Palestine resumes delivery of their package.
09:00:22: Someone once told Mac Nielson the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Leroy Palestine got one over on Mac Nielson once before. So definitely, for Mac Nielson, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Mac Nielson stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Mac Nielson see's Leroy Palestine running hurriedly down the street. Mac Nielson takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Mac Nielson ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Leroy Palestine doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Mac Nielson did not see before. Mac Nielson takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Leroy Palestine escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
10:00:26: Blaylock Samson steadily took aim from a second story window as Leroy Palestine ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Blaylock Samson inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Leroy Palestine resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
11:00:22: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Mac Nielson hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that Mac Nielson has used it, targeting Leroy Palestine's ship as it races across the horizon. However, Leroy Palestine's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. Mac Nielson's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. Leroy Palestine dips their ship, skirting past Mac Nielson and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
11:24:33: Sonny Bill Spider does not normally mourn death. Sonny Bill Spider is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of Sonny Bill Spider thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as Leroy Palestine emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. Leroy Palestine dove, taking a shot mid-air. Leroy Palestine was not thinking about human connection, unlike Sonny Bill Spider. This is arguably why Sonny Bill Spider was shot in the gut. Leroy Palestine resumes their delivery, package in tow.
11:24:40: Sonny Bill Spider tried to sneak on board Leroy Palestine's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Leroy Palestine continues their delivery.
12:00:20: Someone once told Blaylock Samson that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Blaylock Samson knows Leroy Palestine has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Blaylock Samson but the time is almost here. Leroy Palestine's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Blaylock Samson's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Blaylock Samson is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Blaylock Samson the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Leroy Palestine's ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
12:35:18: Package delivered by Leroy Palestine for $240,000