21:16:08: Package picked up by Shadowrabbit Clayguy
21:16:09: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
21:58:57: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine), but flung to unknown reaches of the universe. "Parcel transferred."
22:00:40: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
22:14:59: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is riddled with repetitive machine gun fire from @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy), falling to their knees and letting the package slip from their fingers. "Parcel transferred." @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery with the package.
22:35:29: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) is bloody from head to toe after a rough number of successful entanglements. "Geronimo, fuckstick!" They look up at the voice and see a a dot in the sky. It quickly turns into two dots: a sky born @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) on a rocket powered hang-glider, and the portable thermonuclear device they've dropped. "Parcel transferred," can be heard from dispatch as @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) swoops past the mangled corpse and snags the package.
23:01:07: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) got one over on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) see's @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) did not see before. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
23:11:50: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) leaps off of a second story building on to a tall dumpster, shortening the fall. Unfortunately this dumpster is full of explosives placed by @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) smiles as they plunge their thumb onto the detonator switch, their face ignited by a pillar of flames as @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is incinerated. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) throws the detonator over their shoulder as they pick up the package that rolls to their feet as if it was meant for them. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) breaks into a fast run, taking the stolen package with them. "Parcel transferred," emits from their delivery bracelet signifying even more credits to be earned. "Parcel transferred, indeed," @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) whispers in reply.
05:17:06: Package delivered by Shadowrabbit Clayguy for $140,000