22:46:07: Package picked up by Iggy Starlord
22:46:08: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Mac Nielson.  A wonderful breakfast.  "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover.  Mac Nielson mused, "Why ruin a good thing?  I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery."  Mac Nielson took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal.  "Ah, that's the one.  I'm here already."  Mac Nielson put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod.  Mac Nielson crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Iggy Starlord to come running down the road, package in tow.  "I know this one.  Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum.  They won't be able to handle this either."  Iggy Starlord came into view.  Mac Nielson pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism.  Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Mac Nielson had just left.  "What?  How?"  As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Mac Nielson barely heard Iggy Starlord running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!"  Iggy Starlord continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
23:00:45: Ignoracious Buttafucco tried to sneak on board Iggy Starlord's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt.  Iggy Starlord continues their delivery.
23:14:50: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry.  Sonny Bill Spider has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire.  The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided.  Iggy Starlord ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap.  Iggy Starlord almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in Sonny Bill Spider's trap. Frantic, Iggy Starlord activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire.  Limping, Iggy Starlord hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder.  As Sonny Bill Spider manically runs after Iggy Starlord firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of Iggy Starlord's grenades, losing a leg.  Iggy Starlord continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
23:14:56: Iggy Starlord has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from Sonny Bill Spider's MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to Sonny Bill Spider, but flung to unknown reaches of the universe.  "Parcel transferred."
05:55:52: Sable Nyx fires two pistol shots at Sonny Bill Spider's kneecaps, dropping them to their knees.  "Parcel transferred."
06:20:45: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Sonny Bill Spider.  A wonderful breakfast.  "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover.  Sonny Bill Spider mused, "Why ruin a good thing?  I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery."  Sonny Bill Spider took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal.  "Ah, that's the one.  I'm here already."  Sonny Bill Spider put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod.  Sonny Bill Spider crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Sable Nyx to come running down the road, package in tow.  "I know this one.  Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum.  They won't be able to handle this either."  Sable Nyx came into view.  Sonny Bill Spider pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism.  Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Sonny Bill Spider had just left.  "What?  How?"  As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Sonny Bill Spider barely heard Sable Nyx running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!"  Sable Nyx continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
06:20:52: Sonny Bill Spider tried to sneak on board Sable Nyx's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt.  Sable Nyx continues their delivery.
06:20:55: Sonny Bill Spider steadily took aim from a second story window as Sable Nyx ran by below.  Sweat dotting their forehead, Sonny Bill Spider inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger.  It was a miss.  Sable Nyx resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
06:21:01: Sonny Bill Spider tried to sneak on board Sable Nyx's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt.  Sable Nyx continues their delivery.
06:23:12: Sable Nyx leaps off of a second story building on to a tall dumpster, shortening the fall.  Unfortunately this dumpster is full of explosives placed by Sonny Bill Spider.  Sonny Bill Spider smiles as they plunge their thumb onto the detonator switch, their face ignited by a pillar of flames as Sable Nyx is incinerated.  Sonny Bill Spider throws the detonator over their shoulder as they pick up the package that rolls to their feet as if it was meant for them.  Sonny Bill Spider breaks into a fast run, taking the stolen package with them.  "Parcel transferred," emits from their delivery bracelet signifying even more credits to be earned.  "Parcel transferred, indeed," Sonny Bill Spider whispers in reply.
06:46:18: Package delivered by Sonny Bill Spider for $200,000