17:45:51: Package picked up by Tharg The Mighty
17:45:52: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) continues their delivery.
18:00:22: @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
19:07:29: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
20:02:18: @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). Luckily, @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
21:02:41: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
21:52:39: Package delivered by Tharg The Mighty for $100,000