17:45:51: Package picked up by Tharg The Mighty
17:45:52: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt.  @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) continues their delivery.
18:00:22: @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads.  Dangerous territory.  A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) smiles.  Winners aren't born; they're built.  @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below.  One failed attempt.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty)'s adrenaline.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty).  "Not today, my friend."  @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
19:07:29: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stumbles into their own trap:  a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty)'s destruction.  Instead @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
20:02:18: @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco).  Luckily, @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) vaulted over it, only severing one foot.  @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
21:02:41: There are automatic rifles and there are these.  The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) hefts it on their shoulder.  The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling.  It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty)'s ship as it races across the horizon.  However, @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor.  @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
21:52:39: Package delivered by Tharg The Mighty for $100,000