03:49:26: Package picked up by Calto Fremis
03:49:27: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Blaylock Samson. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Blaylock Samson mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Blaylock Samson took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Blaylock Samson put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Blaylock Samson crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Calto Fremis to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Calto Fremis came into view. Blaylock Samson pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Blaylock Samson had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Blaylock Samson barely heard Calto Fremis running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Calto Fremis continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
04:24:23: Blaylock Samson misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Calto Fremis. Calto Fremis resumes delivery of their package.
06:08:40: Ignoracious Buttafucco stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure Calto Fremis's destruction. Instead Calto Fremis resumes on their way, Ignoracious Buttafucco's agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
08:10:34: Mac Nielson tried to sneak on board Calto Fremis's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Calto Fremis continues their delivery.
08:49:51: Toe Cutter fires two pistol shots at Calto Fremis's kneecaps, dropping them to their knees. "Parcel transferred."
09:00:35: Ignoracious Buttafucco is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by Toe Cutter after a failed package theft attempt. Toe Cutter resumes on their way.
10:00:20: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. Ignoracious Buttafucco has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. Toe Cutter ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. Toe Cutter almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in Ignoracious Buttafucco's trap. Frantic, Toe Cutter activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, Toe Cutter hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As Ignoracious Buttafucco manically runs after Toe Cutter firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of Toe Cutter's grenades, losing a leg. Toe Cutter continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
11:06:43: Someone once told Blaylock Samson that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Blaylock Samson knows Toe Cutter has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Blaylock Samson but the time is almost here. Toe Cutter's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Blaylock Samson's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Blaylock Samson is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Blaylock Samson the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Toe Cutter's ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
12:03:57: Package delivered by Toe Cutter for $160,000