07:41:07: Package picked up by Sonny Bill Spider
07:41:08: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Blaylock Samson. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Blaylock Samson mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Blaylock Samson took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Blaylock Samson put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Blaylock Samson crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Sonny Bill Spider to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Sonny Bill Spider came into view. Blaylock Samson pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Blaylock Samson had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Blaylock Samson barely heard Sonny Bill Spider running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Sonny Bill Spider continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
08:00:33: Mac Nielson misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Sonny Bill Spider. Sonny Bill Spider resumes delivery of their package.
09:00:46: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. Blaylock Samson has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. Sonny Bill Spider ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. Sonny Bill Spider almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in Blaylock Samson's trap. Frantic, Sonny Bill Spider activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, Sonny Bill Spider hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As Blaylock Samson manically runs after Sonny Bill Spider firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of Sonny Bill Spider's grenades, losing a leg. Sonny Bill Spider continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
10:00:28: Blaylock Samson misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Sonny Bill Spider. Sonny Bill Spider resumes delivery of their package.
11:00:27: Ignoracious Buttafucco steadily took aim from a second story window as Sonny Bill Spider ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Ignoracious Buttafucco inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Sonny Bill Spider resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
11:41:46: Package delivered by Sonny Bill Spider for $100,000